Another Jeff Foxworthy adventure

So I went to this out in the wilderness flatlands area where there were three gigantic bleacher buildings called the Joliet Speedway, three tracks for different races. Underneath were food stalls of americana foodstuff catered by Levy brothers. Funnel cakes, lemonade, corn dogs, Beer, twisted fries, beer, popcorn, beer, burger, dogs, beer. Young and old were there.
Looking down into a muddy track with four giant giant tires as markers, drove in 2 sets of 4 cars, each garishly decorated each team with a single standout color.
Object of the game and bloodlust of the crowd which included boys and girls as young as ...wha???year olds? strollers of infants? fat little 7 year old girls, skinny 4 year old boys, was to see whose lead car could go around the track at least 5 times and survive the onslaught of being mangled, battered and beaten by the other cars. Like quidditch. Protecting the seeker with chasers and beaters. Only the cheers for each banged up and demolished car was like being in a Roman arena.
Interestingly enough, I picked each winning team including the final ones. Cheez, there were no betting booths because, mind you, this was a Family Event!!!

And the kids behind me were yelling loudly, Hey Mr. Popcorn Man, thinking we were all deaf..I whispered an aside, ermmm, they surely teach them young, don't they? And the chubby, red faced little girl (who probably will grow up to be a butangera na taga bayan ng pulang leeg) muttered a "I'll get you for that" when my thrilled companion blurted out that he almost touched the danged beach ball that was making the rounds up and down the stands. She and her little sibling were the loudest in yelling FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT when a scuffled ensued down the pit place. Bloodlust at this early age!

So Foxworthy, I'm earning brownie points for adventuring into the land of your brilliant spiels, and I'm not even a red neck! Still, this is part of americana I never knew existed beyond listening to someone else's stories. Chuck it down to being a tourist in my own back yard. And on to the next red neck adventure.